12-6-13 Still

Yesterday  an old and familiar enemy lurked

outside my windows and door,

tempting me like a favorite lover of days past

with whispers and promises; words

I’d heard and used before.

I’m not surprised she kept trying to seduce me:

I’d never been able to refuse her painted face.

I cried out to You with a heavy heart

to take her away from me, to keep her on the cross;

You smiled, Your face bright, and asked me

How could I expect to keep my home free of mold

if I scrubbed all of it clean except for one closet?

I knew exactly what You meant.

I went to a hidden, shadowy place

where gifts from my old foe were still locked away:

trinkets and love letters and smoke-filled photos.

They had to be destroyed once and for all.

When I picked up the box,

still pungent with the scent of her perfume,

my heart grew weak and I cried out to You

for strength and courage,

and found I had just enough of each

to throw it all away.

Did my soul swell with the Holy Spirit?

Did I feel You fill up the void?

Not until I fell on my face,

my eyes two oceans of tears,

wretched, hopeless, helpless;

it wasn’t until my heart shattered

into a million pieces

that it was finally able to hold the ocean.

It wasn’t until I died

that I finally began to live.

Sin has no power over me

except that which I give it.

Today a cleansing rain falls,

obliterating all tracks and traces

of an old enemy.

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